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Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
6:42 pm - Procrastinating.
Appearance
[x] I am shorter than 6'.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses. (sometimes)
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.


Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.


School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll/Dean's List within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.


Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something. (finger to eyelid)
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public


Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.


Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.


Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger


Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.


Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I have been or am right now anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.


Death and Suicide
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.


Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I am a sports fanatic. (only carolina)
[ ]I twirl my hair
[x] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (green)
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat (junk) fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (God bless the Honors Program)
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] all of those are answered honestly.

(comment on this)

Monday, December 6th, 2004
9:31 pm
Just remember to breathe in and out. It's hard to focus on that with all the noise around me. All this hate and all this confusion and everyone screaming cause they think the world is interested in hearing what they have to say. Surround yourself with people who love you and try to block out all the resentment and pain. The relief of knowing that these ties are finally severed. The apprehension of knowing it's finally time to let someone in. And not quite knowing how. At the end of the day I know I am different. I know I don't really live in this world. I care so much but at the same time I really don't care at all. I sit on the floor in the dark and breathe in and out. Because I exist. I lay on the grass in the sunlight when everyone else is hurrying by because it's too cold. I exist. That's what life is. Everything else is just a distraction. I want so much but I don't really want any of it. I want forgiveness but that's impossible now that we've said goodbye. I want everyone to stop all the screaming and hurting. I want all this noise to stop so I can just think for a fucking second. But it never stops. All this whining about Jesus, the self-absorbtion, the inaneness of it all. At the end of the day, I am ok. Happy, even. But I just want to scream at everyone to shut up. Because the noise you're making means nothing. It's just an easy out. It gives you an excuse to not think. All it is is distraction.

(comment on this)


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